2010-11-27 | Why do people talk past each other so often?
It’s interesting to watch people - be they strangers, co-workers, family, friends or couples - talk past one another. Despite conducting a mutual conversation, it seems each one just delivers a monologue focussing on his own world. They wouldn’t even pay much attention to what the other one is saying. Maybe they’d pick out a peculiar snippet of their counterpart’s conversation, in order to push on the chat, or yet to use it against that person in a discussion, although he/she had previously used it in a completely different context. The point is, neither one has fully perceived the context and it’s bad when misunderstandings emerge from that.
Another case: You talk to somebody who you don’t even like much or whose conversation annoys you. However, you still make smalltalk to be polite and discuss stale topics. Or the other way round, you talk to someone who really interests you and who you’d like to tell completely other things; but you don’t have the guts to do so.
So why are we talking past one another so often? Do we really not understand what the other one is trying to enunciate or can’t we just be articulate ourselves? Are we afraid of telling the truth?
If this inability of leading an open dialogue is transfered to higher levels, like politics for instance, it may be of serious consequence for international relations.
If then still paired with an individual ignorance towards the thoughts and values of the other on top of that, a conflict arises that will sooner or later lead into arguements. If those can’t be solved verbally due to the aforementioned inability to communicate, one often resorts to violence.
This can range from someone getting rough to an actual war between countries, depending on the surroundings the arguement is taking place at. And yet, everything leads back to the fact that people didn’t properly listen to their counterpart, be it unintentionally or not. It’s really up to us to get our ideas across, to be heard and to clearly show our point of view in order to let the other one know what the matter is. In return, we have to listen to the other person as well, so that we just as much can understand the motivation for their actions and don’t draw wrong conclusions.
Open dialogue is important. That doesn’t mean you have to disclose everything about yourself. But you should open yourself up so far to signalize your counterpart you notice them and reflect on their thoughts. Who feels understood, feels good. Who feels someone is trying to understand, feels hope. Who feels to be misunderstood or even ignored, feels grief, which subsequently may turn into despair or hatred at last. And that will once more result in a conflict with others.
So let’s listen more. Even foreign languages we unterstand eventually, if we just listen to them long enough; respectively learn how to speak them! Misunderstandings are not obligatory, as long as everyone’s effort and disposition to understand their counterpart is at hand. Sometimes that may require a lot of energy and perseverance; and maybe some things we’ll never be able to comprehend completely. Yet an open ear is always the best instrument for trying to reveal the magic of a misunderstanding.
2010-08-08 | The truth is...
Adults are just big kids playing in a sandpit filled with experience which they press into molds in order to build dream castles that can be tramped down anytime by their environment.
2010-07-05 | Smoking ban in Bavaria
Coming soon to the movies, the trilogy:
1) Gastronomy Wars - The battle of costumers
2) Gastronomy Wars - The smokers strike back
3) Gastronomy Wars - The return of the Lung-Knights
Synopsis: The evil Darth Lung is spreading fear and terror with his Smoke-Troops among the inhabitants of the small planet Bavaria I. They seem powerless against the superior number of hostile battleships, the so called Gastrology-Destroyers. But the rebells show resistance. Under command of Luke Skyrunner the alliance of Lung-Knights launch into their final counterstrike. Will it be possible to defeat the dark side of the lung? You will soon find out in a movie theatre near you!
2010-07-03 | Don't cry for me Argentina
Wow, what a match today! Incredible! 4:0 against Argentina, who would have thought this? Amazing what the German team is managing to achieve during this World Cup! Like this football is great fun! :-)
2010-06-30 | Spoilt for choice
So once again we have a new Federal President! After Horst Köhler’s sulky resignation it is now time for Christian Wulff, former Governor of Lower Saxony. But what an election it was today! It took three ballots and around nine and a half hours for the result to be finally certain. The longest election of a Federal President to date.
In the meantime the recent political directions taken by Chancellor Merkel and Mr Happy Guido Westerwelle were punished by their own parties refusing to give the previously anticipated absolute majority of votes to the top candidate Wulff in the first two ballots. The SPD and Grüne were even hoping for their candidate Joachim Gauck to become Federal President after all. Especially because the human rights activist was far more popular among the german people.
But in the end this option foundered on the lacking cooperation of the PDS. Waiving on their candidate Luc Jochimsen and granting their members free choice of vote in the end, the party however didn’t use these votes for Gauck. On the one hand the PDS was aware of their position of power, on the other hand they seemed to be pissed off SPD and Grüne hadn’t tried to agree on a conjoint candidate to begin with. Thus the PDS said "Nyaah!" and Gauck lost the alleged majority.
At least you hardly heard about the forth candidate Frank Rennike of the NPD. Although just having received three votes in total you wonder how an extreme right-wing party manages to field a candidate for the highest office of state at all.
So in the end we have experienced a quite turbulent election leaving a stale aftertaste for the current coalition of the Federal Government. Furthermore the majority of german people would have prefered Gauck for the job. But what to do, we live in a democracy, right? With Wulff we have a spiffed goodie two shoes who surely knows how to represent the image of germany with his son-in-law smile. And who knows, maybe he will soon sing a duet with Lena Meyer-Landrut?
2010-02-26 | To be honest...
Honesty is underrated. It is indeed the only way to create a functioning relation between people in the long run. But what makes people lie to each other? Ok, there have to be small white lies from time to time, but just for fun or to take advantage of somebody? No. Especially not just to blow smoke. It is cheap, sissy, and disrespectful to your counterpart.
Yet it keeps happening again and again. Oftentimes to avoid conflict or not to lose your face. But once the truth is revealed, consequences are usually much worse - depending on the lie’s dimension. Trust and respect of the deceived will suffer all the more. Sometimes you just notice afterwards that something is not quite right. Sometimes you realize too late you let yourself be fooled, that you were lied to or cheated by someone you wouldn’t have expected it from.
It has become very rare nowadays that you meet someone who still cherishes honesty and is aware of its value. Be that honesty positive or negative. It is great when you are lucky to meet someone who tells the truth. Who expresses his honest thoughts and doesn’t just blow smoke. Of course that way, life is harder than if you just kept lying. You offend people more easily. You rather experience rejection by those who think you"re too forthright. Still I think it"s much more respectful to your counterpart than lying to him just to be nice, as you can at least take that person seriously and trust her in the long run.
Of course it’s sad when you realize you cannot trust people anymore straight away and without any reservation. Even if everything appears to be fine in the beginning. But it seems you have to carry this precaution in today’s society as a standard accessory if you wanna avoid being hoaxed. It’s a shame because thereby a basic distrust is formed against new people you meet.
Then again, you can consider yourself all the more proud and fortunate, when you really meet an honest person and have them around you. It has grown to be something special and you should take good care of such people.
2010-02-16 | Watch yourself get dumb
Having recently dared for once to switch on TV again in the afternoon and evening, I was honestly shocked by the level on which german mainstream TV shows are being produced by now. We seem to gloat over watching alleged real fates in docu-soaps and courtroom shows, where extremly flawed actors are allowed to yell at and insult each other, or rage themselves out. Compared to that, the 90s talk show era was high quality TV.
Nowadays alleged troubled teenagers are being rehabilitated, family dramas are solved in 25 minutes and evil murderers are brought to justice by Judge Jerk or Inspector Moron in a ridiculous circus show. Furthermore we may watch C-list celebrities have their latest wedding, divorce or marketing idea, we may change wifes, let old lumber be sold by unknown chaps, watch wannabe models having cat fights or observe goofy policemen tagging someone with a traffic ticket. Whatsoever boring little shit can be successfully marketed as a new TV show nowadays!
Should the previously named get too dull after all, we still have "pros" helping lousy restaurants, hair salons, highly indebted fellows or a sick cur get back on their feet again.
And finally we dissipate our last money for call-in shows, only to call the TV astrologer afterwards to ask when we"ll be blessed with new money again. Welfare TV at its best! Or - for the rather sophisticated yet intellectually challenged viewer - labeled as "infotainment".
Brain is not needed anymore, TV shows have become so unpretentious that even the last moron will understand them easily. Well, most important is we can feast on other people’s problems and not think of our own. Moreover, it is soothing to know that our TV neighbor has the same pigsty at home as we do.
And what’s nicer than watching high society blondes look for their BFF for the nth time, or rock/hip hop stars ,who noone has ever heard of, find their big love one season after another while fucking dozens of dumbass, glory-thirsting chicks for free, who just wanna get on televison? Astounding, what a prospective wedding or life of luxury with a "superstar" can make people do! At least until the screening is over and they get dumped, as the producers need fresh meat for the next season.
Germany, tell me what you watch on TV and I tell you who you are: A case for the psychiatrist. But even that one you can find on TV nowadays! Hail to the brainwashed.
2010-02-12 | Mind dance in white
Each snowflake a thought, a flash of inspiration. Look how they swirl around outside, thousands of them! They dance with each other, then eventually get tired, lie down, under a white, soft blanket. You can mold ideas out of it, create something new that it wasn’t supposed to be. It will last for a while. In addition, the broad mass remains, snuggled together, until, warmed by the sun, it melts away and elapses in a different shape in all directions. Dreamy white, seduced by blue.